For those of you who followed
along, you know that last year I worked two jobs plus a full load of school,
which included trying (in vain) to learn Russian. Plus, it’s hard to enjoy life
when the stick up your ass makes sitting painful. Funny side story: last May,
towards the end of the school year, I was out with two of my male roommates
enjoying a beer at a bar across the street from the business school, and a
gentleman I had tried and failed to *ahem* “woo” ran into us. He liked both
these roommates, and didn’t really have a knack for pattern recognition, so he
joined us. As it just so happened, one of those roommates and I had drunkenly almost
*ahem* “wooed” each other on occasion (why would I have a regular relationship
when shitting where I eat is just so much more interesting?). Lips were a
little looser and Lord of the Failed Wooing asked my roommate, “Really? Was it
hard with that stick up her ass?” and they laughed and high fived and I
glowered into my drink. Now, in hindsight, I find that joke really funny
because, yes, I was too uptight, and yes that’s probably at least part of the
reason I spent a year falling flat on my face. Anyway, back to this blog post.
This year, I am only taking three classes in my native language, I am not
working at all, and the stick-extraction is going nicely. Doc says I can
probably sit within the next six months. So, because I know so many of you are
not living this fantastic life, you can live vicariously through me. This is
what my day looks like:
8 am: wake up naturally, check my
phone, laugh and go back to bed.
10 am: wake up again, check my
phone for text messages I inevitably ignore, and go back to bed again.
Noon: Wake up, grab my computer,
and check Facebook, and Cracked, and Buzzfeed, and watch some TV
1 pm: Get out of bed and move
immediately into the bathroom, where I take a nice hot shower. Or a nice cold
shower, because it’s a total crap shoot in this building. Unless my roommate is
home when I get out of bed, in which case I feel guilty because now she’s doing
the two jobs and a full course load thing. If she’s there, I’ll actually go to
the gym.
2 pm-5 pm: This varies. Some days I
watch Friends reruns, other days I go
back to my folks’ place and mooch my little brother’s brand new PC, cuddle
their dogs, and eat their food.
6 pm: Make dinner. Or order dinner
out. See, I dropped 13 pounds when I was abroad cause of all the walking, and
another 8 pounds the month I got back because like I said, why do a regular
relationship. So healthy eating right now? Not gonna be a priority until my
pants fit again.
7 pm- 9 pm: More TV and/or Diablo,
chat with friends or actually hang out with them in person. We’ve got a great
apartment, every other night someone’s usually here. When I’m allowed to drink
again (doc says no booze till I gain a pant size. Currently floating at
emmaciated and staunchly refusing to by new pants because I don’t like looking
like Skeletor) we'll go back out, which was becoming pleasantly habitual to sip a beer and socialize somewhere. Or if no one’s here, experimenting with different baking
recipes.
10 pm: My minimal homework, most of
which is essay writing, which I excel
at. But you knew that cause you read this.
11 pm – 1am: More TV/video
games/baking before going to bed.
2 am: I’ll usually fall asleep
reading while texting various entities.
I know it sounds like I don’t do
anything, and that’s because I don’t and
it is marvelous. I also know there’s never going to be another period in my
life when I can float through with this little stress. And god knows I have
been stressed up to my eyeballs since graduating high school. So I’m going to
enjoy it. I’m going to keep sleeping in until noon and spending weekends
cooking for my friends and getting coffee with charming nut-cases and being young and pretty and irresponsible because I
haven’t done that yet and everyone ought to if they can get away with it.
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