Thursday, February 14, 2013

Well this ain't gonna last


For those of you who followed along, you know that last year I worked two jobs plus a full load of school, which included trying (in vain) to learn Russian. Plus, it’s hard to enjoy life when the stick up your ass makes sitting painful. Funny side story: last May, towards the end of the school year, I was out with two of my male roommates enjoying a beer at a bar across the street from the business school, and a gentleman I had tried and failed to *ahem* “woo” ran into us. He liked both these roommates, and didn’t really have a knack for pattern recognition, so he joined us. As it just so happened, one of those roommates and I had drunkenly almost *ahem* “wooed” each other on occasion (why would I have a regular relationship when shitting where I eat is just so much more interesting?). Lips were a little looser and Lord of the Failed Wooing asked my roommate, “Really? Was it hard with that stick up her ass?” and they laughed and high fived and I glowered into my drink. Now, in hindsight, I find that joke really funny because, yes, I was too uptight, and yes that’s probably at least part of the reason I spent a year falling flat on my face. Anyway, back to this blog post. This year, I am only taking three classes in my native language, I am not working at all, and the stick-extraction is going nicely. Doc says I can probably sit within the next six months. So, because I know so many of you are not living this fantastic life, you can live vicariously through me. This is what my day looks like:
8 am: wake up naturally, check my phone, laugh and go back to bed.
10 am: wake up again, check my phone for text messages I inevitably ignore, and go back to bed again.
Noon: Wake up, grab my computer, and check Facebook, and Cracked, and Buzzfeed, and watch some TV
1 pm: Get out of bed and move immediately into the bathroom, where I take a nice hot shower. Or a nice cold shower, because it’s a total crap shoot in this building. Unless my roommate is home when I get out of bed, in which case I feel guilty because now she’s doing the two jobs and a full course load thing. If she’s there, I’ll actually go to the gym.
2 pm-5 pm: This varies. Some days I watch Friends reruns, other days I go back to my folks’ place and mooch my little brother’s brand new PC, cuddle their dogs, and eat their food.
6 pm: Make dinner. Or order dinner out. See, I dropped 13 pounds when I was abroad cause of all the walking, and another 8 pounds the month I got back because like I said, why do a regular relationship. So healthy eating right now? Not gonna be a priority until my pants fit again.
7 pm- 9 pm: More TV and/or Diablo, chat with friends or actually hang out with them in person. We’ve got a great apartment, every other night someone’s usually here. When I’m allowed to drink again (doc says no booze till I gain a pant size. Currently floating at emmaciated and staunchly refusing to by new pants because I don’t like looking like Skeletor) we'll go back out, which was becoming pleasantly habitual to sip a beer and socialize somewhere. Or if no one’s here, experimenting with different baking recipes.
10 pm: My minimal homework, most of which is essay writing, which I excel at. But you knew that cause you read this.
11 pm – 1am: More TV/video games/baking before going to bed.
2 am: I’ll usually fall asleep reading while texting various entities.
I know it sounds like I don’t do anything, and that’s because I don’t and it is marvelous. I also know there’s never going to be another period in my life when I can float through with this little stress. And god knows I have been stressed up to my eyeballs since graduating high school. So I’m going to enjoy it. I’m going to keep sleeping in until noon and spending weekends cooking for my friends and getting coffee with charming nut-cases and being young and pretty and irresponsible because I haven’t done that yet and everyone ought to if they can get away with it.

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