Wednesday, February 29, 2012

There is absolutely no reason I should like this music video as much as I do

Ok, this is me NOT going to the gym like a said I would this morning and instead updating my blog again like I said I was trying to get better at. So I'm kinda 1 for 2 right now.

Anyway, this is the video I'm talking about:



Now, if you know me (and if you're reading this, you probably do), you know I'm what you might call "quirky" if you're being nice, a "hipster" if you're ignoring the distinction that I really genuinely like stupid and banal shit as a form of escapism instead of an ironic statement about some political crap, or an "elitist" if you're being honest. I mean, cause I totally am. I am arrogant as all fuck (God, I hope my mom doesn't read this - I swear too much). If you like something, and it doesn't sound like something I would like even if you have previously introduced me to stuff I'm now crazy about, my reaction will range from polite avoidance to blatant "NO. DO NOT WANT." My friends Oliver and Claire might have noticed this, cause whenever I'm over and they suggest we watch something I'm not sure I like, I always suggest something safer. They play along with my rigidity nicely, but I'm sure they notice.

But Ex Boyfriend got the worst of this. He was the one who showed me this two minute and fifty-six second video in the first place, and do you know how long it took him? MONTHS. Seriously, less than three minutes, and I dug my heels in so much, that in the end he had to come back to Colorado and physically restrain me in front of a computer before I would watch it. Now, in my defense, I've learned by now that when Ex Boyfriend prefaces something with "You have to see this, it's soooo funny," it's either gruesome, like the story about a bunny getting shoved through a chain link fence he told me over my screams of horror once, or it's stupid like a gif of a cat hitting a dog with a baseball bat. So by this past summer, at which point we've known each other for 6 years, dated for 4, since split so I have to deal with as much of his crazy as I want to (we remain friends, which is why I can say this and also not be afraid of posting it on my facebook), I know that Ex Boyfriend's ratio of things I'll like to things I won't like on his suggestion list is abysmal. I think the odds of him showing me something I'll like on the first time around are roughly the same as winning small change in the lotto. Like, it'll happen, but not with enough frequency for it really to be worth my time. Anyway, he and my brother ended up sitting on me on the couch so I couldn't get away while they showed me Lonely Island Music Videos. And this one almost made me pee my pants.

Really, I should not like this video. I don't find mainstream humor funny at all. You can name every "comedy" movie out there, and I can think of one that I like: Tropic Thunder (because of Tom Cruise). Every other funny movie I like is mixed with some other genre. So a couple of SNL comedians shouldn't tickle my fancy. Besides, I can't remember the last time I found SNL funny. And while I'll admit that I do have some pretty pedestrian likes in music (I claim to balance it out with my love of 1940s jazz), I'm not a big fan of whatever Akon does. There are a couple songs he's done with other artists that I have on my workout playlist (fuuuuuuuuuuu I'm supposed to be at the gym), but as a general rule, I avoid him and his genre. And most of all, I do not like rap. Or at least I didn't when I first heard this song. Now, because I've discovered my love of performance/slam poetry, if the lyrics are good and there's a catchy chorus, I can put up with it. But last summer - NOPE. So to recap: don't like the genre of humor, don't like the artists, don't like the genre of music. Shouldn't like the song.

But here's why I do: it's about sex. See, I've previously mentioned that I'm a prude to the nth degree, but I actually have a very liberal opinion of sex. I don't care who's having it, I don't care how much you're having, and as long as I'm even a little fond of you, I don't mind hearing about it from you. Subject for a different post, but I would much rather hear the nitty gritty of your sex life than your religion or politics. So prude only in my own practice, and that's a totally different issue. Sex is, in my opinion, the most powerful of all human social interactions and the most compelling bodily function after food, sleep, and sometimes shelter. And while I acknowledge that sex has the potential to transcend its own logistics (Insert part A into slot B, repeat until sweaty. Satisfaction not guaranteed with every transaction) and become something beautiful (I think the common colloquialism here is "making love"but that just sounds so foofy to me), most of the time it's just going to be sex. Not only is it just going to be sex, it'll probably be awkward, elbowy, "Is that ok?" sex. And despite the fact that most of the sex we have, especially non-committal sex because every lover is different, is going to be bad, or at least mediocre, we keep on pursuing it. That, to me, is funny. It's funny that somehow we have high expectations, that we keep on chasing it, and that we idolize it even in the face of a couple millennia of our own futility. Also, when you totally decontextualize sex, the sweating, groaning, and jerky movements are so awkward that how can you do anything but laugh? 

Also, just how into this song Akon and the Lonely Island boys are just makes me loose it. Facial expressions FTW.  

1 comment:

  1. For the record, your Mom HAS read this, and it wasn't the end of the world.

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